sadist & associates
Written by patty on September 12th, 2008I have an appointment this afternoon at Sadist & Associates. And I don’t want to go.
I’ve never been afraid of going to the doctor before. Unlike my youngest, who gets the vapors as soon as we mention the doctor, I’ve never once had a fear of doctors. Unfortunate genetics have left me with an aversion to oral surgeons, but the vision of my toothless future is usually enough to motivate me to man up and go.
You know what’s a bad idea? Booking a double appointment at the pediatrician, forcing your thick-as-thieves children to be in the same room when they get shots. I thought I learned this a few years ago, but we old people sometimes forget. Younger boy starts crying, older boy (who is truly one of the nicest people I ever met, in stark contrast to the rest of his immediate family) starts crying out of sympathy.
Yesterday was annual physical day for the WingDangDoo offspring. I thought we were in the clear when our pediatrician left the room without mention of the dreaded s.h.o.t. word. We sailed through the appointment. As she was closing the door behind her, she suddenly turned back to us and said “OH – I FORGOT. THE BOYS NEED THEIR HEPATITIS A BOOSTER SHOTS.” Let the hysteria commence.
All of our most important parent-child conversations happen after bedtime, and last night was no exception. My older son was embarrassed when we talked about (text redacted to protect the innocent) with his doctor. I was searching for examples about slightly embarrassing things we have to do sometimes to stay healthy. It was late. And we had a long, but age-appropriate conversation about how sometimes you have to not only put on your big kid underwear and talk to your doctor about embarrassing things, but when you’re a grown-up girl, you also have to drop your big-kid underwear to have your doctor take a peek at the engine.
Fear not, Stamford readers, the WingDangDoolittles were strictly prohibited from sharing this new information (age appropriate! really! I promise!) with their friends. But, ha! If my boys propose playing doctor with your cute little gremlins, call me.
Our little chat got my son over his embarrassment and had him laughing up a storm. It was only 90 minutes past bedtime when he got to sleep. But we didn’t talk about Sadist & Associates. I’d take the big-girl doctor over Sadist & Associates any day.
I had the pleasure of getting a hearing test from them earlier this week. The audiologist was, frankly, strange. Much to my husband’s disappointment, he didn’t test me for selective hearing. He gave my hearing the all-clear, after grabbing one of my ears (all in the name of “testing”) and pulling on it so hard that it was still red five hours post-test.
I find that odd. Don’t you?
It’s not potential embarrassment that’s making me dread this appointment. It’s fear of pain, plain and simple. My goodness – it was just an ear infection, painful enough on its own. First the vacuum, then Odd Ear-Grabbing Man. I wonder what fun is in store for me today?
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I have to take my boys for a check up at the pediatrician next month, but, thankfully, I think we’re in the clear as far as shots go. I should check their charts before I commit to that, though!
And yep, yanking on your ear is the most bizarre thing I’ve ever heard of as part of a hearing test. Never have I had that happen to me! Very odd.
foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog)’s last blog post: things I’m pretty sure I never thought I’d say
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Ah, yes. The dreaded shots! I know those well and should spend the weekend preparing for next week’s rounds. Both my Princess (4yrold) and Drama Queen (2 1/2yrold) will require shots at checkups on Wed. and Baby (1 1/2mthold) will get shots on Thursday. Oh Joy.
Patty, I sure hope your appointment today went better than the last time. Ouchie!
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Uh… I am WITH YOU on the shots. And I still keep booking the double appointments because I insist on going to a pediatrician a half hour away, and the in-office wreckage is less painful than the thought of two appointments.
And flu shots are coming. *brrr*
manager mom’s last blog post: Manager Mom’s Gallery of Shame: Part 1: The Grade School Years
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sadist & associates! ha! you crack me up. when I worked at the nursing home, our dentist that treated all our patients was, get this, Dr.Payne, no kidding. I suppose if you’re a dentist with a name like that all you can do is make the nursing home circuit.
Fortune Cookies’s last blog post: WWC – Male & Female
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Crying out of sympathy for his brother? What a good guy…
Generally I fear that doctors have a big ear-yanking conspiracy going. Not good.
Thanks for the laugh!
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A doctor? Meh. Now if this Sadist guy was a DENTIST, well…. that would be a different story entirely.
maggie, dammit’s last blog post: up for air
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i was deaf as a kid (like 60 percent or some shit) from chronic ear infections. i remember sitting in the sound booth while the technician tapped her bright red nails on the counter; i could hear the tapppppppping perfectly well. i must have been four.
i will never wear red nail polish.
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