The next time one of your sisters suggests going to the American Museum of Natural History on a day when every school in the western hemisphere is closed, get a good prescription for anti-anxiety meds before you agree to go.
That claustrophobia of yours isn’t improving with age. No, your panic attacks are now akin to a death spiral, making you dizzier and dizzier each time a new group of 10 people get on the already over-capacity elevator.
You should also get your affairs in order, because throughout the day, you will be sorely tempted to grab a chisel from the nearest paleontologist and do yourself in with it.
And if you choose to bring four children with you again? Bring the dog leashes. In fact, restraints of any kind will come in handy. You can put them in your rucksack, right next to the flask of scotch.
p.s. If you really are considering going back, and if you don’t think your repeat appearance at the AMNC is a sure predictor of the end of days, remember the sight you beheld today: a labradoodle in service as a seeing eye dog. If you don’t recognize that as a sure sign of the impending apocalypse, I’m really not sure what else to tell you.